Darkjay's Braveness - Songfic Challenge
by Esther Silvers
Summary: In the end: Battle isn't glorious. Battle isn't victorious. Battle is one thing and one thing only: Death.


_**Darkjay's Braveness**_

 _ **Songfic Challenge for the forum World of Warriors**_

 _ **Author's Note:**_

 _ **This is a challenge, and I hope you enjoy. Since this is a songfic, the song I have based this story on is called Brave by Moriah Peters. I** **strongly suggest you listen to this song af** **ter you read or maybe even while you read. Without further ado,**_ **enj** **oy.**

 _ **-Diana**_

 **ShadowClan Camp**

The sky was dark with storm clouds, and the forest was whipped with harsh, unforgiving wind. An ill omen, a bad sign. I wasn't surprised though; we _are_ about to go into battle against ThunderClan.

My very _first_ battle.

As a newly appointed warrior, Darkjay, I should be nervous right now. Hesitant. Even scared.

Of course, those kinds of things only come from cats who have actually experienced these types of feelings when _they_ first battled.

Am I nervous? No.

Am I hesitant? Nope.

Am I _scared?_ Not in the very _least._

In fact, I'm excited. I have prepared for this my entire life. As an apprentice, I excelled _everything._ From hunting to fighting, to even _moss gathering_ ; I was the best of them all. And now I'm prepared to excell as a warrior.

Enough of that.

So, as I am practing a frontal paw attack not too far away from the warriors' den, my former mentor, Nightroot, comes up behind me.

"Give it more power. If you don't, it'll feel like a pat on the shoulder," he says.

I stop and sigh. I hate it when he does this.

"I _know,_ Nightroot." I answer, turning around. Nightroot is an old-timer; silver hair is starting to become more common than his black. Though old, he's still got some fight left in him, and he says he's not quite ready for the elders' den just yet.

Or so he thinks.

"You sure you want to be in this one?" I ask, coming up to him. Nightroot's green eyes flicker with annoyance. "You know perfectly well I can fight. And I'll keep fighting till I'm pushing up daises from the ground." he says.

I give a skeptical look at him. Before I can say anything though, Nightroot's gaze becomes serious. "Darkjay," he starts carefully. "How do you feel about the battle? You know, since its your first and all. Remember, feeling nervous or scared is perfectly normal-"

"Oh, I'm not nervous, or scared," I interrupt cooly. Nightroot stares at me. "What do you mean? Not even in the slightest?"

I shake my head. "Nope," I answer. "In fact, I'm _excited._ " Nightroot narrows his eyes at me, like he's trying to figure me out

I purr and bound off to get ready and wait for Onyxstar's orders to head out.

* * *

As I munch on vole, I imagine the glory of battle; how Onyxstar would sound the battle cry, how I would strike down any enemy that dares to oppose me, how we would all yowl in victory in the end of it all.

I marvel at how brave I am, compared to the other ShadowClan warriors. I'm not scared to jump into battle, or getting a scratch or two. I pride in how much stronger I've become since my apprentice days, all thanks to Nightroot of course, but _imagine_ the surprise when I show those ThunderClan flea-bags my strength and skill...

I smirk as I polish the last of my vole and notice cats gathering around Highledge, where Onyxstar announces important news.

He's there now, standing straight, prepared to announce. I join the crowd and wait for Onyxstar to start.

"Warriors of ShadowClan," starts Onyxstar. "Do you promise to fight alongside me and stand by my side?"

At this, cats agreed, yowling.

"Always!"

"Of course, Onyxstar!"

"Forever!"

Onyxstar waits until the clearing quiets down and continues. "Then promise me you will fight, ShadowClan! Promise me you fight to the end, fight to defeat ThunderClan, fight for your own! Promise me!"

His voice raised into a full-on yowl, urging us on. The Clan erupted into hurrahs and battle cries. I cheered too, excited and eager. The Clan was riled up as well, and thats how we left; energetic and ready to face our foe.

* * *

We cross the Thunderpath and enter into enemy territory in the evening, all senses alert. The forest looks very different; leaf-fall colours like red, yellow and orange have taken over completely. Its isn't long until we reach a small clearing.

And waiting there, were ThunderClan warriors. Instantly, tension arose, almost palpable. Cats from opposite sides glare hate at each other. Thunder rumbles in the distance and the wind whistles throughout the forest.

I'm eager to start. I pray to StarClan to give me strength and courage over these fox-hearts. Not that I need to; I'm not weak or afraid anyways.

"Surrender, Onyxstar." hisses ThunderClan's leader, Thornstar.

"Never!" answers Onyxstar. "We _will_ end this, Thornstar."

"If it weren't for you, stealing our prey, we wouldn't be standing here!" snarled ThunderClan deputy Roseflame.

Finally, the talk is over, and the battle begins with just one word:

" _Attack!"_

Instantly, cats of both sides clash with one another; ripping flesh out, snapping bones, yowling out battle cries. I join in too, adrenaline coursing through my veins. I spot my first target: a small, lithe she-cat with a dappled pelt and blue eyes. But before I could do anything, another body slams into me.

Its a large, muscly tom with red fur. I struggle to gain the advantage, but fail. This tom is just too heavy and strong. He snarls and rakes my belly.

Pain spreads throughout my body like wildfire. Rage ignites within me and I push the tom off of me, biting his hindleg. He yowls in agony and flees. I whip around to look for more opponents.

Suddenly, a wave of doubt and fear hits me. Its one of those terrifying moments where you doubt whether you can do this or not, if you'll get outta this alive, if you can show enough courage.

I feel fear wash over me like seawater does over soft sand. It leaves me drenched with fright, with self-doubt. I didn't want to do this. I suddenly didn't want to enter battle. I didn't want to get hurt more than I already am. I didn't want to be brave.

Instead, I want to flee, like that red tom. I want to run away from this nightmare, from this bloodbath. I want to be a coward, a weakling, anything but brave or bold.

Thats how I stood, fear and weakness keeping me from entering the fight.

And then, I notice my mentor.

I see him in the mayhem on the other side, struggling to conquer a grey tom. Nighroot's pelt was bloodied and he was panting. The grey tom was aiming for the neck, aiming to deliver the final blow. I knew if I didn't do anything, he would end up dead.

So I ran.

I ran as fast as I could. Nightroot can't die. He just can't! He may be old, but he wasn't ready for StarClan. This couldn't be his end, it just _couldn't be._

The grey tom strikes. His jaws lock around Nighroot's neck, and it all ends.

The world around me becomes slow, and I can hear my own, pounding heart beat. My vision blurs, the image of Nightroot, lying there, drowning in his own blood, blurs. I'm standing there shocked.

I was _so_ close. I could've saved him. If only...if only...

Rage ignites in me. I switch my angry gaze to my mentor's killer. He was standing over the dead Nightroot triumphantly. This was enough to send me flying towards him.

I land on the tom and crash on the ground, me clawing his face, pelt and belly. My anger's controlling me, guiding me, directing me. The tom tries fighting back but I've got him in my steely grip. I snarl in anger and aim for his neck.

"ThunderClan! To me!"

Thornstar's panicked yowl makes me momentarily distracted. My victim slips from my paws and flees, just like all his other fox-hearted Clanmates.

I pant and look around, seeing my Clanmates. I turn to gaze at Nightroot, dead at my paws. His green eyes are glazed, his neck torn and crimson. Sadness settles in me, a tear escaping my eye.

"He's dead?" whispers Shadowlily, a black she-cat with pale violet eyes. She comes up, her eyes filled with grief. I nod. "Yes," I say softly. Shadowlily glances at me, her eyes filled with sadness and pity. "I know he was your mentor," she said. "I'm sorry."

I nod again, trying to hold back the tears. Before I could say anything, Onyxstar calls out.

"Cats of ShadowClan," he says, his voice solemn and low. "We have conquered ThunderClan. We have won the battle. We have shown what the mighty ShadowClan can do. Let us yowl in victory!"

We yowled. I try to sound victorious, but I can't. This battle wasn't how I envisioned it to be. I remember all those horrific images of bloodbath, of savageness, of honerless death. Fury ablaze in each pair of eyes, the smell of fear and tension, of blood and brutality. And my Clanmates, oh my Clanmates, they all looked tired, weary, wounded and hollow. Just like me. In the end:

Battle isn't glorious.

Battle isn't victorious.

Battle is one thing and one thing only:

Death.

* * *

 _ **Many Moons Later**_

I flex my claws. Not in excitement or anticipation.

More like dread.

We were facing off against RiverClan, right here and now. I was about to get launched into battle; something that made me want recoil in disgust. But I had to.

Now, no one ever told me this was going to be easy. In fact, I learned that the hard way the first time I battled in a real battle.

That means no more running or hiding. No more doubt or fear.

Its time to be **brave** **.**

 _ **The End.**_


End file.
